Respect- what actually is it?

Master Tan Soh Tin has just gone back to Singapore from the Mountain Training Centre this morning.

When I was first told, back when I was first learning Kung Fu at Holmbury St Mary, that the Master of the association was visiting us, I was terrified.  Having watched many films in the Chinese and Kung Fu genre I was constantly worried that I would do something disrespectful without even realising it and that the Master would be very stern and unapproachable. 

I even went as far as looking up how to act and behave. I spoke to my friend who is half Chinese for her opinion but this did little to still the butterflies in my stomach. Naturally I also asked our Chief Instructor Iain Armstrong on etiquette issues and he assure us that we would be fine as long as we didn't do anything obviously disrespectful.

It seems to me that the concept of "respect" today is not a clear one. I realised that I had little internal guidance on how to show respect to someone. Is it about getting up from the floor in a certain way? Is it about bowing and saluting? Is it letting the Master eat first? 

The code of conduct mentions all these things but do they alone show respect? I like to think I respect my parents, but have no idea how I show them this. Children today are often said to have "no respect for anything", again what do we actually mean?

Well Master Tan turned out not to be the ogre I had somehow imagined. He is a modern day Master, both approachable and friendly with a truly phenomenal wealth of knowledge about Kung Fu along with a fantastic sense of humour. He loves his art and loves teaching it to people and this really shines through in everything he does. He has  deep understanding of people and a well of patience to help them reach their full potential. His stay with us was an awesome experience and I only wish he could have stayed longer. 

Through meeting Master Tan and being part of Nam Yang, I have, I hope, come closer to understanding the concept of respect. It is indeed about the little matters of etiquette, but this is not the main thing. The main this is to listen, take on board and act on the what the person is saying, understand their cultural integrity, generally engage with them, never talk about their private matters in public and taking the time to think about what they say and do rather than just judging or assuming.

Respect is more about actions, it's almost a feeling, perhaps even a humbleness saying that you are ready to learn from that person, you are actually ready to think and consider what they represent and honour that.